Confessions of a Bad Teacher, Part II
Well, I'm back with Part II of my Confessions. Now Usher and I have something in common. It's been quite a week. I've been sick since last Saturday, I turned 30 on Tuesday, and two of my classes were taken away from me yesterday. While I was sick, I got e-mails from two teachers who were pissed off that they had to do emergency coverage for my classes. Despite our planning time being "protected," we have to cover classes at our school if we can't get substitutes. We often can't get substitutes, because the students are awful. When I came back after two days (missing two days in a row is a teacher sin, by the way), I had a meeting with the principal. He told me that he'd heard "not much teaching was getting done" in my classes, so my two good (read: Honors) classes were being taken away from me and given to other teachers, while I got to keep my hell class, half of whom have been suspended this semester, and I got to take over TA duties.
My classes were split between my department and another first year teacher. I'll be the first to admit that I am not a good classroom manager. I hate micromanaging and I hate confrontation. I can hear you asking me why I became a teacher then. Well, at the schools I worked in for internships and student teaching, I didn't have these problems. Those were rural kids who were able to at least semi-police their behavior by 16. Some of these kids already have probation officers. I don't know why I have to tell a high school Junior to put his shoes back on or to stop jumping. By the middle of this semester, I completely gave up. I disassociated and didn't stop them unless they were actively trying to kill each other. Yes, I know this is wrong and not good "for the children," but I couldn't leave without another job lined up. I wrote in Confessions Part I that I am sick every day, and that is true. Except this week I was nauseous and achy and coughing constantly. That didn't matter. You take more than one day off and you're not sacrificing enough for those ungrateful bastards who whine when you're out of the tissues and pencils you pay for out of your already too-small paycheck.
So yesterday, they came in during my hell class to yell at them and tell them they're the worst class in the school. Charming. They were told if they breathe wrong, they will be suspended, fine by me. I had to beg them to work with me for just a few more weeks and I'll try and make it as fun as possible. I had to beg students to act human so I can keep my lousy job for a few more weeks. Later, I got an e-mail reprimanding me because students had food out. This is after that talk I had on Wednesday telling me how much they "care about me" and that I have to consider my "health" first. Well, that was pure bullshit. They want me gone before the end of the year, and I'm told I have the weekend to decide if I can handle the next month. About 15 minutes later, I got another e-mail forwarded from another teacher because a student walked into my class that was out of dresscode. The principal made sure to mention that "this" was how I was affecting my colleagues. Yes, that teacher surely had to suffer by seeing a bare shoulder.
This entire school is toxic. I knew that administration was, but it turns out that it's the teachers too. Yesterday, I was guilted because other teachers are taking over my classes. I didn't ask for this. YOU told me that you were doing it to make the year easier for me, but I now know that was a lie. If you know one thing about me, you know that I hate inconveniencing over people. I will go out of my way to avoid asking for help in a store or spend hours googling instead of making a phone call. This isn't completely out of compassion for my fellow man. I really dislike most people and don't want to talk to them. I would never put myself in a position in which my job would be shifted to someone else for my comfort. Never.
Now I get to have a meeting on Monday in which I ask them to treat me like a human being and a professional. I will not blame this game of faux-kind meetings in person and reprimands via e-mail so they have a paper trail. They are threatening my reference, and I will gladly bring lists upon lists of all of the things I have positively accomplished while working in this ninth circle of hell. I've always been a doormat because I hate people and confrontation equally. Maybe this is rock bottom, but at this point, I really have nothing to lose.
My classes were split between my department and another first year teacher. I'll be the first to admit that I am not a good classroom manager. I hate micromanaging and I hate confrontation. I can hear you asking me why I became a teacher then. Well, at the schools I worked in for internships and student teaching, I didn't have these problems. Those were rural kids who were able to at least semi-police their behavior by 16. Some of these kids already have probation officers. I don't know why I have to tell a high school Junior to put his shoes back on or to stop jumping. By the middle of this semester, I completely gave up. I disassociated and didn't stop them unless they were actively trying to kill each other. Yes, I know this is wrong and not good "for the children," but I couldn't leave without another job lined up. I wrote in Confessions Part I that I am sick every day, and that is true. Except this week I was nauseous and achy and coughing constantly. That didn't matter. You take more than one day off and you're not sacrificing enough for those ungrateful bastards who whine when you're out of the tissues and pencils you pay for out of your already too-small paycheck.
So yesterday, they came in during my hell class to yell at them and tell them they're the worst class in the school. Charming. They were told if they breathe wrong, they will be suspended, fine by me. I had to beg them to work with me for just a few more weeks and I'll try and make it as fun as possible. I had to beg students to act human so I can keep my lousy job for a few more weeks. Later, I got an e-mail reprimanding me because students had food out. This is after that talk I had on Wednesday telling me how much they "care about me" and that I have to consider my "health" first. Well, that was pure bullshit. They want me gone before the end of the year, and I'm told I have the weekend to decide if I can handle the next month. About 15 minutes later, I got another e-mail forwarded from another teacher because a student walked into my class that was out of dresscode. The principal made sure to mention that "this" was how I was affecting my colleagues. Yes, that teacher surely had to suffer by seeing a bare shoulder.
This entire school is toxic. I knew that administration was, but it turns out that it's the teachers too. Yesterday, I was guilted because other teachers are taking over my classes. I didn't ask for this. YOU told me that you were doing it to make the year easier for me, but I now know that was a lie. If you know one thing about me, you know that I hate inconveniencing over people. I will go out of my way to avoid asking for help in a store or spend hours googling instead of making a phone call. This isn't completely out of compassion for my fellow man. I really dislike most people and don't want to talk to them. I would never put myself in a position in which my job would be shifted to someone else for my comfort. Never.
Now I get to have a meeting on Monday in which I ask them to treat me like a human being and a professional. I will not blame this game of faux-kind meetings in person and reprimands via e-mail so they have a paper trail. They are threatening my reference, and I will gladly bring lists upon lists of all of the things I have positively accomplished while working in this ninth circle of hell. I've always been a doormat because I hate people and confrontation equally. Maybe this is rock bottom, but at this point, I really have nothing to lose.
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